If I had to pick one lesson I've learned in the past year, it would be that happiness is fragile. It can disappear in a second and shatter right in front of your eyes if you don't take care of it. This is a post I've had saved in my drafts for a good month or so now - personal posts always freak me out a bit but hey ho, this post might help someone, so up it goes!
I've kind of hinted at this (or outright said, I can't really remember, its 10pm and I'm weary) but in recent years I've not been the happiest of people on occasion, even though its in my nature to be laughing and smiling most of the time. I think that its completely natural to not feel 100% sometimes, but every time I go through a tough experience I gather mental tips on how to preserve happiness in the best way that I can.
Here are a few of my favourites (prepare yourself bloggers, this is about to get real):
- Surround yourself with people that encourage you to shine - you have no obligation to anyone who treats you like you're less than sparkly. Like seriously. Life is way too short to have friends that put you down or a boyfriend that makes you feel like crap, if they intentionally knock you down time and time again, you have to take a step back and question whether they add positivity to your day. I'm not suggesting you cut everyone off after a minor fall out, but if its a long term drag on your mood and your mental health, then I do think a change may be in order.
- Taking a different spin on the same concept, don't let your happiness depend on the actions of someone else. Too often we become so wrapped up in friendships/relationships that we associate our happiness with those people. If the time comes (and occasionally it does) that people leave our lives, we have to make the connection that although they added to our overall happiness, it is not purely because of them that we felt that emotion. Without that connection the possibility is there that you will feel down for a long time simply because you think you should - does that make any sense?
- Accept bad days when they come - this might sound weird, and I'm not saying it would work for everyone, but I've found it helpful at times. Whenever I feel down for a day, I own it and accept that maybe, today is just not my day. I curl up with a hot chocolate, some M&Ms and my Netflix account and I cosy up until I don't feel so bad anymore. The next day though, I get up and I act as I would normally - for me the trick to banishing sadness is to control the length of time it gets to affect my daily routine.
- Start doing things that you love, and that are in your control - for me, this would be blogging, writing and reading. Immersing yourself in activities that make you happy are bound to have a positive influence on your mental health, this is kind of an obvious point to make. School work is important, relationships are important, but I think having hobbies and time to yourself is just as important, to feel at peace with your own mind and feel happy when you're alone. (Do you ever read a post back when you proof-read and LOL at how formal and serious you sound? I do.)
Do you agree with any of these tips, or have any of your own? I'd love to hear them!
Emily xoxo
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